Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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