Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
