So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my sisters under your porch take her home
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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