yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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