scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
