I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
