please come you make the beer taste better
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
why is half of my head shaved?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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