Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You may now shotgun with the bride
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
