I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
