There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
