I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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