You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
