his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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