Dual....:-)
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we're making bets on your personal life
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
