Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
