nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
