i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
