There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
