he shaved USA in his pubs
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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