Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
splinters make it hard to masturbate
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize