I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
