We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
