Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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