Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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