I skipped work to stalk him.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize