I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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