just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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