what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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