so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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