i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
