He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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