YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
