So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
