All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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