Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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