The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
