It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
