So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
