It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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