So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
false alarm. still invincible.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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