Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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