i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
