This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
