This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
