Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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