Sponge bath it is.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
