It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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