Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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