well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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