Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
