I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
