Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
