You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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