Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
