He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
high people should be assigned attendants
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
