but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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