I cockslap morals
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
