toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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