Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
