Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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