Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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