I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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