I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
