when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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