Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
